Our anniversary is coming up

It's Saturday. It was also my father's birthday. Boy, I didn't think that one through to the end. I alway thought it was so cool that I got married on Daddy's birthday. I used to tease him about the really expensive birthday party he threw himself. And he would tease me about how it was worth it to get rid of me. I adored my father. He was and is the first love of my life. And now he's gone. And it hurts. Ironic isn't it that the thing that send hubby over the edge was his death. That the time I need my dad the most to help me get through this, he's gone. I used to love it when I called the house and Daddy answered the phone. He only did that when no one else was home. I knew we'd have time to talk and we did, for hours. It was funny because when someone else was home and gave daddy the phone to say hi, the only thing he ever said was "good night, God bless, I love you." That was it, nothing more. But when he was home alone, we'd talk for hours. I found myself saving up all the things I wanted to talk to him about for those times he answered the phone. I don't think I can put into words how much I miss him, and what I would give to be able to call him and talk to him about all this. Life just isn't fair. Didn't God know I still needed my Daddy? Well, anyway. So, our anniversary is Saturday. And frankly, I surprised we're still together to celebrate it. Okay, so we're not actually going to celebrate it, I mean come on, there currently isn't much to celebrate. We'll acknowledge it, and that's something anyway. We made it another year, and that's something. I haven't strangled him in his sleep, and boy is that something! So, we'll acknowledge it, and get on with it, and hope that maybe next year we'll feel like celebrating. If you're out there reading this, know you are not alone.